John’s Recon

May 22, 2015

Why a retired guy takes an hour and a half to change a light bulb

Filed under: Uncategorized — John Prichard @ 3:00 pm
Well I got ready to take a shower this morning and noticed the light bulb was out in the shower. Reached up and took off the cover plate and unscrewed a long spiral florescent. We have one of those. I just put this in about 4 years ago. Went to the kitchen closet where we keep them and got a similar one. Packaging says 10,000 hrs, 9 year life …. baloney. Re-stepped over Bosco (our old dog who sleeps A LOT) there and back (2 step-over-subtotal). The new spiral bulb didn’t go in the socket due to some extra width in the spiral and some kind of tabs in the recessed socket itself. What about a flood light style since I saw some of those in the closet, as well? Dang packaging, I need to get a pocket knife. Stepped over Bosco (4). A pocket knife isn’t cutting it; I need some big scissors. After much consternation, package is open, no cuts on fingers and I have a flood light and am back to the shower. Stepped over Bosco (6).

Socket so deep I can’t reach to screw in the light; just out of tippy toe range. Into the garage to get something to stand on. We have some over-the-top choices but also a little work stool that I haven’t used in forever and will do just fine. EEEWW. Its full of spiders and bugs. After 5 minutes of detailed brushing, it is ready to go into the house. Back to the shower after stepping over Bosco (8). Did I mention I am dressed for the shower. Light is in and time to switch it on. Yuck, it is much lower lumens and not a daylight/sunlight color but rather the kind of orangish outdoor low light for the outside of the house. That makes sense, T said she bought some of those for over the driveway.

OK. This is where a person who works makes the decision to leave AS IS since 1) he has spent too much time already, 2) needs to get to work, 3) orangish low light isn’t that bad, and 4) orangish low light sets the kind of mood you are probably already in when you have to go to work and why have bright daylight trying to set you in a happy mood anyway. BUT I’m retired and I have time to do this job right. So it is off to the garage to get some Channel-Locks so that I can bend the tabs out of the way. Bosco would you please get out of the hallway (10).

I should have brought the pliers too. Bosco (12). I wonder what the probability of stepping on a dog is because I am sure I am using up chances. Dang, these tabs are too springy and I really need to bend them back a lot. I need vice-grips. Bosco I’m really getting tired of this (14). Now we are getting somewhere. But I have to pull the recessed socket out some to really get access. Uh, what are the chances that I have exposed wire on the backside that hits something in the shower or even up against the metal with my hands stuck in the recessed socket. Would they find me in the bottom of the shower with some vice-grips in my hand? Would it seem right that I was dressed for a shower and not as a handy man? Should I go get my cell so that it is close at hand if I come to? Time to turn off the breaker.

I put the Yuck bulb in so that I could see when I get the right breaker. Darn, only the major appliance breakers are labeled. All the other 16 (8 pairs) are labeled lights and plugs. Of course they are. Why would a new house electrician bother to label them otherwise. The following is tedious in that it took me 7 out of a possible 8 attempts to go to the garage, turn off a breaker, come back to the shower to see if the light is on, yes, go back to the garage and switch the off-pair on and another-pair off AND step over Bosco (14 previous step overs plus 14 more = 28). Ah, now the right breaker is off (glad this wasn’t upstairs) and my back-up batteries are alarming. I got 15 minutes before the juice runs out to the DirecTV, etc.

Alarms make you feel under pressure — like a REAL job. OK, bending complete. Daylight spiral florescent in the socket and eye-opening bright. Back to the garage to turn on the breaker. Last time Bosco (30). We have bright cheerful light in the shower. Now to clean up.

Over Bosco (32) for tool replacement. We have been wanting a small step for Bosco’s 2.5 gal drinking system. He is old and bending down on old legs to drink his water is hard. I will use the work stool for that. Lift the 2.5 gal water bottle out. Oh that was a lot of water dumped in by mistake. Put the system up on the stool. Put the water bottle back. Oh that was a lot of water dumped in by mistake. Looks about right. What is with all the dripping. Darn, there is more water in than the bowl will hold. Get a glass to bail. Bail, Bail, Bail. Whew, what a mess. Get a bath towel for a big spill. Get out of the way Bosco (34). Ok, it looks about right height. Cue towel for wash.

Ah nothing like taking a shower in bright sunny light to feel like a million bucks. Job well done. Just under one and a half hours including mopping up mess.

Time to go out to eat lunch with my friends. As I’m driving away …. Oh, I should have written on the fuse box where the master bedroom/bathroom lights are. I will never remember which breakers they are if I wait. Then what would I do for tomorrow. Besides it will be a long time before someone steps over me 34 times and I don’t wake up. 🙂

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